Not my video, but my concert.

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Howdy interweb.

Matt Cohen here, on a blustery (almost blunder-blustery) December day. As I sit in my Lemonade Parlour, which is adjacent to the large Solarium and two doors down from the small Lunarium; I can’t help but take stock of the year that has been.

First off: All this sending a man to the moon Hullabaloo! I’m for it! And how!!!

In my own life, 2011 brought the birth of a new podcasting hat, that of a producer (incidentally a producer hat is actually a sporty head-band, so not really a hat at all but you know… semantics). Between Mohr Stories, Team Jack and a very fun stint on Waking From The American Dream, I have had the chance to “Cut my teeth” (literally. Diamond bristled toothbrushes ftw, bitch) as a producer/further refine my engineering skills. I honestly thought with the closing of the SmodCastle my pod-load would lessen a bit, rather; It’s become my full time gig. Which rocks. All of your socks. Don’t believe me? Check your socks… That’s what I thought.

Another personal pod milestone for me this year was the launch of my second weekly podcast, SMidnight ; co starring everyone’s favorite lovable scamp (re: Punk) Matt Cruz . Every Saturday night at 9 (or Smidnight, depending on where you hang your hat/or producer head band), I get the pleasure of chatting with Cruz and the world about all the geeky things currently stuck in my craw. Getting the chance to do a live, old school, call in radio show has been a dream come true for a dude who grew up listening to 5 hours of Howard Stern a day. Honestly, my work with Smod and of course, Kevin Smith has allowed me to really live out a lot of my adolescent/teenage fantasies- Comedy Theater Manager, Producer, Radio Host, Chip and Dale Rescue Ranger. It’s been a dream.

In keeping with the theme of dreams, because really folks- all that we see or seem is but a dream about that episode of Step By Step where Carol and Karen enter a mother-daughter beauty pageant; 2012 is the year I swing for the fences. Yes, the last half decade has been one happy surprise after another, but I feel like it’s time I take the reigns a bit and start driving this bald headed and yet mysteriously good looking tankard of a life.  As I write this, I am one week away from a one week long Phish odyssey in New York City. I arrive back in Los Angeles on Jan 1st, 2012.

The day it all begins. Again. For the last time. Maybe, hopefully.

MY PLANS FOR 2012: Bullet List Stylee- cause we all got shit to do

• Bagged & Boarded is back!: Not gonna lie- With all that went on this past year, B & B has fallen unfortunately, a bit to the way-side. Remedied very soon. There have basically been four incarnations of the show, in it’s four year history. Each with it’s own pros and cons in my mind., however- Each a part of the show. In 2012, I’m mashing that shit up like that dude from Girl Talk (I think his name is Dj Skrillex Maus). Starting on New Years Eve, and EVERY Saturday after that- B&B is back, in one of many ways. The new format is thus: Format party. Basically, every week I’ll switch up what kind of episode airs. Either a “Brave and the Bold” (me and a buddy just shooting the shit), A “Bagged & Boarded Live! (Me, celeb guest, usually recorded with a live audience), A “Experts of Everything and Nothing (An in depth fan episode where myself and a guest chat about one subject we are both passionate about) or lastly, a “Dream-Jobs” ep (Myself and folks who get to do amazingly cool stuff for a living). So whatever type of ep it may be, you’ll get a fresh B&B every week from now on. Believe that, shit.
  
  
• SMidnight: Is going nowhere fast. I love it. Cruz loves it. 2 people love it! As the show grows, I think we are finding a good steady pace for it. New segments, contests, guests, ways to interact coming in the new year. Saturday is podcast day, yall. Eat your eggos with some B&B, drink yourself to sleep with SMidnight. The in-between is up to you.

• Vlogs: Some people say I have a face for podcasting. Those people have never looked at me over a candlelit dinner, my eyes peering back into theirs; almost reading their very soul. It’s a party trick I do. Youtube/videos are one part of the net’experience I have always overlooked. No more. I will look it, now. EVERY week, peep a new VLOG at my Youtube HQ for your visual perusal. Subscribe/comment/rate/spank bank it. Have a party. The vlog will really allow me to do “mini podcasts” when I’ve got something to rant or rave about. Peep the freshness. Then go to my youtube page.

• G.E.E.K: I’ve been talking about this one for a while, but not really going into details. It’s time for full discretion. I have written a graphic novel (with the editing help of Mr. Shawn Depasquale). I have also enlisted the help of the INSANELY talented artist, Axel Ortiz (peep his work HERE). However, this is gonna be a group effort. In early January… I Kickstart this ish. I know, very original, however- tricks/fun in store to make it different than the usual “donate money to my geek thing thing!”. The whole process has been insanely fun and I can’t wait to share this book with you cats. It’s basically my take on a “superhero team”. So capes, villains, fights, deep mythology, intrigue, double-crosses mixed with lots of “inside geek stuff”, weed, jokes, pop culture, celeb cameos. It’s got it all. If you’ve ever dug anything I’ve done, I really think you’ll have a great time with G.E.E.K. It’s probably the most unfiltered ”Me” thing I’ve ever done, if that makes any sense. And it does. Boom. Mind’s blown. Stay tuned for the Kickstarter announcement soon and ways to get involved.

• Art: I spend a lot of time doing art projects that noone ever sees. Alot of time. Like, 20 hours a week. I’d like to share with the class. I’m taking my favorite pieces and turning em into high quality prints for purchase at nominal fees! (so nominal, you guys). If you’ve ever wanted to own and proudly display a piece of me without going into stalkery/mutilationy territory, here’s your chance. All prints will be available (as well as shirts and some more fun stuff) at the newly launched Camel Toad Store, coming in early 2012.

• Mixtape: I like to rap. All Jewish kids from NY do. Blame Beastie. However, now with the help of lil Mr rap  guy Matt Cruz, I got the means to do it right. Don’t expect anything gamechanging. Or do? I don’t know you, man. Live your own life! Coming soon in your earholes.

• Comedy Sketches: These may not be as frequent at first, due to time constraint/budgetary concerns (ie, no time or money) but I’ve assembled quite the comedy troupe to help me bring some of my sketches to life this year, and starting very soon, you’ll be able to see the fruits of our labors. Cause we dont wear pants. Peep the YouTube Page for updates.

• Secret Projects: There’s a bunch I can’t talk about, either do to sensitivity or just not wanting to jinx. However- I got a lot more planned this year, with such illustrious folks as Misti Dawn, Jen Friel, Mike Hatton , Taylor Negron and many more. A mix of what I do now (podcasting, producing shows, etc) and some new fun (acting, writing, directing) If all goes according to plan, you will all be SICK of me by sometime in March. Love-Sick. SNAP!!!!!! take a breathe. SNAP!!!!! oh, shit.

All the above, along with a COMPLETE RELAUNCH of CamelToadProductions.com, and lots more to come throughout the year. Down with naps, up with homework! If by this time next year none of these things happened, I will move back in with my parents (nope). And that’s a promise! (not). Im very excited and more excited that you folks can come along the journey with me. Bring a canteen, a few cliff bars, maybe a frisbee? And let’s have ourselves a walk-about in 2012!

And a very happy non denomination winter time greeting to you all.

Who am I kidding.

Happy Chanukah!!!! You KNOW you love those candles!

- Matt Cohen Esq (self ordained)

12/21/2011 “The Lemonade Parlour”

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