Hey Matt, It’s Matt.
What? No WAY you expected that shit. And I would know. Cause I did NOT expect this shit.
No need to get into some whole thing. Yeah, I’m you from the future. What year? Dude, we stopped keeping track like… some time ago. And no… I’m not wearing a silver shiny suit. I’m wearing a very fashion conscious duster jacket paired with a slightly less fashion conscious singlet. It’s sort of my “bag” (which is a phrase that came back in heavy common usage in… some time ago in the past?).
I know what you’re thinking (cause I’m you). “Hey future me; What gives? Why are you reaching through the very fabric of space and time to contact some former version of oneself? Why oh why, future better looking and has had sex with way more woman than me version of me?”
Well I’ll tell you… And write this shit down with a “pen” LOL (which has NEVER gone out of common usage. It’s still awesome and hilarious EVERY time, all the time.)
On February 13th, in the year 2022… MAKE SURE YOU SET YOUR DVR TO RECORD JEOPARDY! Some guy accidentally mispronounces Caulk and… well, use our imagination. Needless to say it’s hilarious and you/me will be pissed that you missed it.
That’s about it. Oh, and there’s that whole nuclear war holocaust deal but you’ll figure it out, champ.
Till next time, which will be a previous time for me, which makes me better than you which is weird because you’re me.
Matt Cohen Esq. Self Ordained
The Moon, XXXX