Why will no one acknowledge my mad skillz (with a z) ?

I have been jestering like a motherfucker….

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Coming soon to Bagged & Boarded:

A werewolf

A man of the cloth

The most annoying man in space

Little Kid

A kingpin

The man with the keys to the kingdom

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Written in Ms. Johnson’s 6th grade English Class. so, 12 years old here.

DESPAIR

(A tale about a dog that wouldn’t stay buried)

A demon lived in my house, he slept under my bed.

He was healthy but I wished he was dead.

He was a dog, or so they thought.

“He is cute” said the man, from whom he was bought.

That was the biggest mistake I ever made,

I killed him, I thought his spirit would fade.

I buried him in my backyard at night,

I buried him low and out my sight.

He was a devil, I know now; but it’s way too late.

You see that dog didn’t like his final fate.

He came back to haunt me, to entice my fears.

This wasn’t it, No!; He haunted me for years.

One day I thought, “This is the last straw!”

I dug up his body but there was one flaw.

His body was absent, not in it’s own grave.

My heart stopped beating, now I’m his slave.

I hear his barking every night at nine.

This was it! I put up a for sale sign.

I quickly moved away from that house.

As a goodbye present I gave him a dead mouse.

But that didn’t stop his haunting, Oh no.

He wanted to kill me nice and slow.

One day I said, “I’m ending it all!”

I choked myself with a big metal ball.

Finally that dog is out my hair,

That dog, who I named Despair.

Cmon… 12 year old me kind of rocks, no?

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Prima Nocta was a rollicking success. Laughs were had, hymens were torn to shreds (sexy), memories and lifelong friends were made.

Stay tuned for some very exciting announcements regarding the next step, in the global revolution that is the SModCastle

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HEY! GO BUY THIS ON BLU-RAY! I’M IN IT AND JUNK! HI MOM! HIGH MOM!

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Via Itunes:

“Bagged and borded is seriously awesome! Matt and Jesse are a double act unsurpassed in the field of podcasting, to quote Holden mcniel they are like “rosenkrantz and guildenstern meet vladimir and estragon” insofar as they seem a bit clueless sometimes like R&G on the outs looking in, matt’s limited knowledge of his own religious heritage is highly amusing! And like V&E they’re sitting around waiting for Godot as it were, like a kevin smith movie they meander in and out of pot-fueled meaningful and Quasi-meaningful diatribes and discussions, raising valid points about the value of living and letting live, dropping the n bomb, the holocaust and how lots of movies are interchangeable, the podcast is fun, silly, frenetic and not too geeky for the average person, but perhaps not as geeky as the title suggests!

Hope you guys make thousands of these motherfather pods.”

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July, 2010…. It all begins. By it, I mean my adult life.

SModCastle goes live peoples. Get thee to L.A. It’s gonna be the jump-off (I heard that in a rap song)

"There it is! 6468 Santa Monica Blvd! C'mon dicks!"

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Sorry for the post hiatus. Big announcements coming in the next few days. Keep em peeled.

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Like a good geek, you should have by now seen this supposed test makeup shot, leaked from sources on the set of the yet untitled “TMNT” reboot- the one that promises to harken back to the titles origins in the gritty b+w Eastman and Laird book.

You know what?…. Works for me. Your take on it gang?

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